On the other side of Waikiki
by BoyCalledHATE
Summary: Sam Grover wrote a risqué fanfic but it's stolen. Her friends act out: Book me, Danno! "If she wanted to be overpowered by Danno, her wish had been granted. McGarrett couldn't contain his laughter. Murder me, Wo Fat!" At gun point, Danno aims for Steve: "Put the gun down, Danno!" Disaster strikes. Kono loses it in Chin's arms."Tears streamed down the corners of (McGarrett's) eyes".
1. Chapter 1

**This is not a parody (my favorite to write because script writers tend to get very silly with TV shows, we've all seen their bizarre episodes!) and not slash, although references to that are made because here Samantha Grover wrote one.**

 **If you hated my parodies, this is completely different.**

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Lou Grover walked in on his daughter. She was on her laptop, on the bed.

"DAAAD!"

"It's time for school, you're gonna be late! ...What are you doing?"

"Nothing, dad, I was just-"

Lou didn't ask permission to flip her laptop around and have a look.

" What's that?"

"Nothing, dad, I..."

"You a writer?"

"No, ok!" Samantha Grover went to close her laptop but Lou wouldn't have it. "Come on, dad!"

"You wrote this?" Sam nodded yes. "How come you got no reviews and all the other kids got hundreds?"

"Because people are entitled, rude and mean, ok?!"

"Couldn't it be because your writing sucks?" Her dad's remark made Sam cry, so she ran and locked herself in the bathroom.

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It was a sunny day on the other side of Waikiki. The waters were blue and, quite frankly, so was the skies. I mean "were".

"Look, isn't that...?" ventured Kamekona, in a slow-poke cadence indicating he'd, once again, partaken of too much kava-kava.

Danno, who was sat at one of those outdoorsy Hawaiian stone tables with stone benches, color white, turned his head to where his large, yellow T-shirted friend was looking.

"You gotta be kidding me!", he clamored, as he popped about half of half a dozen mini popcorn shrimps in his mouth. Then he wiped his hand on his jeans and took out his gun as his mouth clamped down on -and furiously chomped on- the miniature shrimp. Boy, that man was hungry and he didn't like to be messed about with while he was lunching.

"Gentlemen! Relax! I come in peace," said Wo Fat, as he approached with a hidden large object under a large table cloth. He was wearing an Armani suit -a black one- with his white shirt collar undone half way. His jovial smile brightened his handsome Hawaiian-Asian mixed features, but Danno was suspicious. So he aimed right at his forehead. Wo Fat made his way to the table, Kamekona backed away and Danno gave him his famous _"Are you kidding me right now?"_ look.

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	2. Chapter 2

"DAAAD! I have to go, I'm gonna be late!" Samantha had realized in horror what was at stake, so she'd promptly come out of the bathroom. "I need my laptop, please!"

"Oh, no! The laptop stays right here with me!"

"But dad, I got my homework!"

Her dad considered it, then quickly scanned her profile. Seeing nothing objectionable, he'd handed the laptop to her: "Put your homework on a memory stick, I'm keeping the laptop today!"

"But DAAD...!"

"Don't you "dad" me! Now hurry up, you're gonna be late!"

Reluctantly, Sam had obeyed her father, relieved that he didn't know about her secret "CinemaToday" account, since she had been logged onto her account with which she only posted rated K-T stories. She promptly dowloaded her homework, along with her very private file, wiped her history and cache, then gave the laptop and a quick goodbye kiss to her father.

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"Do you got it?" Cora-Lee had been waiting the whole weekend for it. Now it was recess and she and her friend Linda couldn't wait any longer.

"Yeah, I do, but it was a close call. OMG! My dad walked in on me! Thankfully he didn't see the McDanno, whew!" Samantha was beaming at getting away with her little deception, no small feat considering who her dad was.

"OMG! Steve is so cute, I can't wait to read it!", giggled Cora-Lee.

"No, Danno is the one who's gorgeous! When I grow up, I'm gonna marry him!", declared Linda with a sigh. "I love how he gets mad, he's such a tiger! OMG! I wish I could kiss him, he's soo dreamy!"

"Steve is the one who's dreamy but... I like Wo Fat too!" Cora-Lee's taste in men was all over the map.

"Ok but you guys: I didn't have time to print it this morning, we'll have to go to the library."


	3. Chapter 3

In one smooth and cool move, sexy Wo Fat both deposited his hidden object on the table and pulled the table cloth off, revealing a silver tray with rows of breaded square fat fish. He beamed at Danno. Standing with his legs apart and still aiming for the sexy Hawaiian's face, Danny Williams wasn't amused. He took a look down and did a double take when he realized what it was. Wo Fat didn't wait for an invitation:

"May I?", he politely asked then sat down. Danno was very nervous, didn't know what to make of this. He glanced in Kamekona's direction, who was hiding behind his shrimp truck and on the phone. He nodded at Danno.

"McGarrett, I don't know what's up but you gotta get here fast. Wo Fat is done bringing a tray of food to my space and Danno is about to shoot him. I don't like it, boss. Something's fishy!"

"On my way," replied the voice on the phone.

Danno had started salivating at the tray of fish. He had been craving fish sticks for quite a while now, and there was a tray of square breaded fish steaks/sticks spread before him, like a smorgasbord of Thanksgiving cornucopia. His glutton side was getting to him. He had to be strong.

"The secret ingredient today? Breaded fat fish squares! It's actually mahi-mahi." His smile disturbed Danno, for it was the most friendly smile he'd never thought he could see from that man's handsome face. "Yes, I am a foodie and I enjoy Iron Chef, on occasion. Some say the Chairman nephew guy looks like me, but I don't see it." He smiled again, poured himself a glass of white wine, that he sipped. Slowly. Very slowly.

"Sit down, Mr Williams. Or can I call you Danno?" Wo Fat, who was unnervingly cool, calm and collected, took a square of fish, broke it in half: "you choose," he dared Danno.

"It's Detective Sergeant Daniel Williams," retorted Danno coldly. He pointed to the left side so Wo Fat placed it down and started eating the right side of the fat fish square.

"Why so formal, Detective... Sergeant? We're amongst friends...", he crunched his fish, looking very sexy while eating it.

"You're no friend of mine, Wo Fat." The gun still aimed at his enemy, Danno grabbed the other half of fish and promptly ate it. God, the man was hungry and could scarf down food like a garbage man. But he was sexy too, in his own rough way of eating.

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"ZOMG! I can't believe chapter 4 is finally here, hehe!" giggled Cora-Lee.

"Yeah, but we're gonna have to be very discreet. I don't want to get in trouble." Samantha looked around nervously.

"So, is it true it's very graphic in the, you know...", Linda hesitated, "...gay sex act?"

"SHH! OMG! Lower your voice, please!"

"Are you gonna post it on fanfic dot net or is it just for us girls?" Linda's curiosity never got answered.

"What are you guys doing?" Grace Williams had caught up to them.

"Nothing, ok?! You don't have to follow us around like a dog, gawd!" Shocked by Cora-Lee's rejection, Grace cast an upset look at Sam. She waited for her friend to defend her but Samantha Grover panicked, gave her a blank stare, then looked away. Grace Williams couldn't believe it! Her friend had dumped her for a clique of mean girls.

"I thought we were friends!" Tears welled-up in her eyes.

"You thought wrong!" snapped Linda, causing Cora-Lee to join her in sarcastic and mocking giggles. Grace couldn't contain her upset any longer. She turned around just as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"She's gone!", announced Cora-Lee. Sam turned around and cast a somber glance in her friend's direction.

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Steve McGarrett was driving like a maniac to reach Danno but traffic wasn't complying. He sensed something was wrong. Something was very wrong but little did he know the tragedy that was about to take place today...


	4. Chapter 4

"Ok, but what I don't understand is how they gonna have sex? I mean, didn't you kill them both off at the end of Chapter 3?" Linda wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box. Cora-Lee rolled her eyes.

At last, Samantha got a computer at the library and was waiting for it to turn on, so she could finally print copies of her forbidden work for her friends, who sat behind her.

"Don't you know that I am God?!" Linda raised her eyebrows. "As the omnipotent writer, I can do with them whatever I damn please!" She winked at Cora-Lee who bust out laughing. Sam put her finger to her lips, reminding her friend that they had to be quiet in the library.

"Okay, yeah but I don't understand. How are they gonna have sex if they're all burnt up? Are they having... Don't know the right word but... like... sci-fi post-death corpse sex?"

"EEEWW!" Cora-Lee busted out laughing and so did Sam. One of the library attendants approached but stopped half way before reaching them. The computer screen was already on fanfic dot net and Sam froze, dreading she would come all the way and have a look. But the attendant merely gestured at them to quiet down. Satisfied, she turned and headed back towards the reception.

"UGH! They never say anything to anyone and just when we're doing something important they bother us. Figures!" Cora-Lee returned her attention to the screen. "So, you gonna upload it?"

"I'm not sure, should I? "

"Yeah!"

"I mean only you guys left me nice reviews and one anonymous 'SunshineCoast', who said that it was, and I quote: _'bad; very very bad'_! Why should I give the readers the pleasure and privilege to read MY story when they won't even thank me or say nice things, or even leave a review asking me to update?" Sam was visibly upset. She felt bad for bad mouthing her readers like this but she couldn't help herself.

"Well, I dunno; maybe they're mad cos you asked for update requests. That's kinda desperate," ventured Cora-Lee who wasn't in the habit of sparing her friends' feelings. "Or maybe they believe that Steve and Danno are really dead and they don't see the point in reading further. You should update it, take them by shock and surprise when you bring them back to life!" Sam had to admit to herself: the girl had a way of inspiring right after telling it like it was.

"No, not before you answer me: I NEED spoilers!" Linda wasn't able to get past "burnt corpse sex".

"Trust me, Linda: I am the _master_ at resuscitating dead characters!" Sam was pretty proud of the way she kept "killing off" Steve and Danno, then bringing them back to life, soap opera-style. They all giggled as quietly as they could, just as Samantha Grover inserted her flash drive into the school computer...

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"Hey, Steve! You're not busy are you? You gotta get here now... It's important. And don't ask no questions, I'd rather you see this for yourself. ...Yeah, my house. And bring Danno if you aren't too busy..."

"Actually, Grover, Danno is a bit tied up at the moment," McGarrett glanced at his watch, "...but I'm on my way."

Grover hung up and returned his attention to Samantha's laptop...

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	5. Chapter 5

**NOTE: This is the part where it gets a bit weird but it will make sense in 2 more chapters. If you read this one, please read to end of Ch7 before deciding to quit because things get better next Ch6. If you trust me on this, it'll be worth it. Thanks & happy reading.**

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"I was hoping we could start afresh," offered the very handsome Wo Fat who looked so sexy in his Armani suit. The sun didn't seem fo faze him, for he was a native and was used to the Hawaii heat.

"Are you kidding me right now?"

Danno was shifting his weight from leg to leg, his skin tight jeans accentuating all of his masculine contours. Luckily, there was not that many people on this side of the beach; the few tourists were looking the other way, towards the water, the present danger unbeknownst to them; or else the women surely would have flocked to admire these most succulent babes.

"Let me tell you a little story, Detective Sergeant Williams," started Wo Fat, peering from behind his Armani sunglasses so his sexy eyes didn't get burned or wrinkled by the sun. (Danno had his back to the sun.) "I've recently had a change of heart...literally." He pulled open his shirt revealing a scar across his toned, and impossibly muscular, sexy manly chest.

He went on to explain how, after getting a heart transplant 8 months ago, he couldn't kill any more. The sexy and formerly evil man now felt what his donor felt: great compassion for all of humanity. He even started saving people whom the Yakuza wanted dead.

"They're in a sanctuary, financed completely by me, on a remote part of another island; all that I have shared with you, you can verify. Now, won't you please partake of my gift? The Native Americans smoke the peace pipe. Us, Hawaiians partake of the fish..."

Danno called Kono to ask her to verify Wo Fat's story... and call him back!

Wo Fat kept offering fish squares to the blonde cop who was still standing, his gun aimed at him. The hot and manly Asian-Hawaiian turned it into a game. He would point at a breaded fat fish square stick and a ravenous Danno would decide who between them ate it, so he knew the food was safe. Sometimes Danno would ask that it be shared between them and Wo Fat obeyed his every desire, backing up in his seat when Danno grabbed a fish, to put him at ease.

Kamekona shook his head. He had been anxiously watching the two men, his anxiety making him very nervous and anxious. "Brah, I don't know what you doin' but you gone fish square-mad or sumfin!", the friendly Hawaiian muttered to himself, while he prayed for Steve to get there fast.

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Samantha changed the quantity to "2", then hit print.

"Ok, I'm making two copies so you can both read it as much as you want later. I trust you both not to share the infamous McDanno Slash Chapter 4?" Her hesitation was reflected in the way the budding young writer had finished her declaration by raising her voice, as if it were a question.

"Pinky swear and hope to die," replied Cora-Lee. Linda went to pick up the copies but when she reached the printer, which was located by the exit, she saw Grace dash out the door, printouts in hand. The printer was empty. Linda rushed back to Sam and Cora-Lee.

"OMG! It's Grace! She totally stole our copies! OMG! Danno's kid grabbed the slash! We're toast. We're sooo dead!"

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Grover was experiencing a bit of déjà-vu. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He got up from the computer to stretch his legs, make some coffee, when he noticed a box through the closet doors that his daughter had left ajar. He grabbed it and started rummaging through its contents. Within seconds, he found what would send him into a fit of rage. But if he was angry now, wait until Steve McGarrett got wind of this..!


	6. Chapter 6

Kono had called Danno back; everything Wo Fat had shared with him checked out: the operation, the crime rate drop in Hawaii for the past 8 months which explained why Wo Fat hadn't been seen on the islands during that period of time, not to mention the fact that he hadn't killed since.

As Kono relayed the info, the sun had gotten to Danno. Feeling a bit woozy, he sat down in front of Wo Fat, and placed the gun on the table.

"Water, please!", Wo Fat requested in Kamekona's direction.

The gentle giant noticed that the criminal mastermind had made no move to take the gun away from his friend. Dropping his guard a bit, he brought Danno a tall glass of water with ice-cubes.

"You okay, brah?"

"Tell him you are feeling fine," suggested Wo Fat.

"Yes, that's right. I'm fine. It's just... I am f.. feeling fine," acknowledged Danno as he rubbed his eyes.

"Okay, brah. If you need me, I'm right there," he said, gesturing to the shrimp truck where he returned.

At that moment, a car careened down at full speed and its tires came to a screeching halt on the road, about 100 ft from their little table meeting.

"Look at me, Danno," commanded Wo Fat, as Steve McGarrett exited the vehicle, his gun in place in front of his face, and made a beeline for the men.

Danno gazed at the man in front of him, McGarrett still too far to hear.

"I am Steve McGarrett and that man right there is Wo Fat. He's here to kill me. I want you to protect me: kill him!"

Danno picked up his gun, got up and pointed right at Steve. Wo Fat sipped his wine nonchalantly.

McGarrett advances towards Wo Fat, turns to look at Danno.

Danno aims for McGarrett.

"Danno, what are you doing? It's me, Steve!" McGarrett shifts his aim from Wo Fat to Danno, Danno to Wo Fat, back and forth, settling for Danno after gauging Wo Fat poses no immediate threat.

"Put down the gun, Danno! Danno, put the gun DOWN! PUT DOWN THE GUN, DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS!"

"Kill him!" Wo Fat didn't even bother to look up. He takes another sip of his white wine.

Danno launches an assault of bullets on his friend and partner but hits his bullet-proof vest.

"SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE!"

The crowd panics, shrieks rise, Kamekona yelps as Steve McGarrett falls backwards onto the sand, a bullet piercing his forehead. Blood. Profuse bleeding. Then silence. Deafening silence. Everyone rushes like crazy, in mad slow-motion. Danno stands there like a zombie, looking haggard, looking empty, looking lost. Empty. Spent. Hollow. Numb.

Wo Fat disarms him. "Good job, sit down and stay here!" Danno obeys Wo Fat's final command.

"He's not breathing, he's dead," the voice proclaims.

The siren that has been wailing mournfully in the background becomes unbearably louder, falls silent. Paramedics exit, rush to the Navy SEAL's side. The mad countdown to save handsome Steve McGarrett's life has begun.

Wo Fat makes a mad dash for Kamekona who turns to face the evil man, cell phone to his ear. He freezes as Wo Fat raises his gun at him.

"Did you call Five-0?"

"They're on their way. You will never get away with this!"

"Good," smiles Wo Fat. He takes his phone and tosses it into the distance.

"If you gonna kill me, I just want to know how. Why?"

"You know the why. I kill. It's what I do. In fact, I had the young man who literally gave me his heart assassinated; it was easy: picked him right off the DMV's donors list. People are so stupid, don't you think!? As for the how... Today's secret ingredient? Scopolamine! I turned Detective Danno into my own obedient slave, my own personal zombie." He grinned, relishing the victory that had been his.

"I saw you eat the fish. Why aren't you affected?" Kamekona demanded answers. If lives were lost today, if he was murdered today, he had to know why and how it had been pulled off. Wo Fat indulged him.

"I took a hefty dose of scopoletin a half hour before eating the scopolamine-poisoned fish. It's its only known antidote. That, and downed half a dozen charcoal caps while Danno killed his partner. It mopped up any excess scopolamine: I'm completely immune to it!"

With that malevolent grin, he put two bullets in Kamekona's chest and fled the scene.


	7. Chapter 7

Samantha, Cora-Lee and Linda cornered Grace, who was crying in the bathroom.

"OMG! You're such a brat!"

"Cora-Lee, don't!", admonished Sam. "Grace, I'm sorry, I just couldn't tell you, ok? Now, give us back our story."

"Yeah, give us back what you STOLE from us!" Linda had to chime in in support of her clique, but Grace continued to cry.

"I can't, ok!"

"What do you mean, you can't? Just give it back now!" Cora-Lee was out of patience.

"I can't because Eric stole it from me," Grace managed through her tears. "He yanked the papers as I was reading and took off."

"OMG! Grace, this is bad, where is he now?" Sam tried to keep calm so as not to further upset her younger friend.

"I don't know. He... he... His brother picked him up, I think. I saw him run and get in a car."

"Oh no. This is bad. We have to tell my dad, that's it. I am gonna be grounded untill I'm 32!"

"What if we tell Danno instead?" suggested Grace.

"Danno?" Linda perked up and gushed at the thought of finally meeting Grace's dad.

The three girls looked at each other, unable to decide which dad would get more mad and which would be best to approach with a full-on confession.

"Well, your dad has your laptop right?"

"Cora-Lee, don't remind me! He's probably been reading my fanfic all morning!" Sam rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I vote for Danno!" The three girls turned to look at Linda who blushed profusely. "I mean... er... we could draw straws...", she backpedaled with a goofy grin that she meant to come across as innocent.

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On the other side of Waikiki, Max zipped up the body bag with great gravitas.

"Detective Sergeant Daniel Williams, you're under arrest for the murder of Lieutenant Commander Steve MacGarrett." A somber Chin Ho Kelly had just placed his friend under arrest and handed him over to HPD, when Kono called him over.

"GET THE AMBULANCE! Kamekona has been shot!" Chin looked at her, then called out and motioned to the paramedics who found a pulse and promptly took him away to the hospital. But Wo Fat had killed one of the men and stolen his uniform! Unbeknownst to anyone, he entered the ambulance, dressed as a paramedic...

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There was a knock at the door. Lou Grover opened. He instantly panicked when he saw Kono and Chin's somber faces. Kono's lips quivered.

"Oh, gawd! I can't do this, I can't do this!", she broke down and cried, out of control. "I wish Adam was here," she said sadly in Chin's embrace.

"MY GOD! IS MY BABY GIRL OKAY?" cried Grover.

"Sam is fine, Lou. It's Steve McGarrett: he's dead." There was no other way for Chin to break him the news.

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Almost a week had passed. The funeral was solemn, somber and ceremonious. Too noble to shoot at his own friend and save his own life, he chose to die because Steve McGarrett was a good man. A strong, intelligent, kind, selfless, altruistic, talented, Renaissance man, Navy Seal, soldier, pilot, handsome, sexy polyglot and Jack of all trades who mastered them all, whether it was shooting guns or being fluent in Korean, Japanese, Hawaiian, French, Dutch, Spanish or Egyptian hieroglyphics, swimming very fast, dodging bullets, this very sexy and handsome man was a genius who was perfect in every way...

There was a knock at the door. Lou Grover opened. He could have panicked, but instead drew a deep breath in when he saw his friend. He didn't know how he was going to tell him.

"Coffee?", he offered as he led the way to the kitchen where Samantha's laptop was open and poured two strong cups, black with no sugar.

"May I?", he asked.

"Please!"

He started to read and bust out laughing: _"The funeral was solemn, somber and ceremonious. (...) Steve McGarrett was a good man. A strong, intelligent, kind, selfless, altruistic, talented, Renaissance man, Navy Seal, soldier, pilot, handsome, sexy polyglot and Jack of all trades who..."_

"What in the hell?"

"That, my friend, is your funeral!" Lou Grover patted him on the back then handed him his cup of coffee.

He gave Grover a quizzical look, then Steve McGarrett sat down and continued to read the page where Lou was at when he'd answered the door; Steve could not contain his laughter at the bad writing and cheesy paragraph.

"Egyptian hieroglyphics!? HAHAHAHA!"

"Listen, I been reading this nonsense all morning!", interrupted Grover. "My God, is the writing bad!", he laughed. "Well, it's not _all_ that bad but when it's bad, dear Lord in Heaven, it's _baad_! You remember that silly talk show you guys did?"

"The Savannah Talk Show, yeah," remembered Steve. He took a sip of coffee. "Go on!"

"Well, apparently, you become a cult sensation on the internet, and all the schoolgirls got a crush on you or Danno or... Well, anyway. There's a ton of fan fiction out there. In this one, written by Samantha, Wo Fat gets Danno to murder you."

"You're kidding me!" McGarrett laughed in disbelief. He was quite a bit flattered, too. "Danno knows about this?"

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 **NOTE TO READERS: if you made it this far, and if you choose to review it, please kindly** *** **DO NOT ADD ANY SPOILERS*** for anyone who might read reviews before the story. I have a policy of not deleting mean or negative reviews at my parodies because I can't expect everyone to get or like my sense of humor and I respect your right to express negative feelings, but I'll probably delete spoilers on this one. Thank you for understanding.**

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 **NOTES (moved from Ch 1):**

 **I was so sad that no one begged me (yes, groveling on their knees, kind reviewer #3 aka "Guest") ;) to read CH 4 of my McDanno story, so I wrote this instead of publishing "Hot & Furious" CH 4. I also wrote this in reaction to someone accusing me of only being able to write parodies, which they consider mean spirited. (I reckon my sense of humor is not everyone's cup of tea!) **

**Negative reviews are as welcome as positive ones. I believe if you hated it, you should be free to express yourself to the person who upset you.**


	8. Chapter 8

**End of CH 8 below has been updated Sat July 18 - 1am PST (but story didn't jump up the listings.)**

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The girls arrived at Danno's house, having decided he was less intimidating than Lou Grover. Cora-Lee pulled Linda back, cupped her hands around her right ear and whispered to her. Grace opened the door and they all walked in.

"DAD! DAD?"

Cora-Lee grabbed Sam by the arm and pulled her back. She whispered to her. Sam nodded.

"My dad is in the backyard. I'll go get him!"

Danno Williams was dressed in full apiarist gear. He had spent the morning tending to his new hobby: beekeeping. He'd requested of Steve not to be disturbed unless an emergency arose. He had collected several small jars of raw honey and had just finished scraping beeswax, hoping to make his own natural honey-scented candles that he intended to gift for Christmas.

"Hey, Monkey! Don't come out here, I'll be right there," he said from behind his protective net helmet.

"My friends are here and we need to talk to you!"

"Ok, that's fine!"

As soon as Grace walked back in the house, Sam asked her to show her to the bathroom.

"First door down the hall on the left, you know where it is!"

"Yeah, but I need you to come with me!"

"Why?"

"Why what?" Danno had walked into the house and was removing his protective gear.

"OMG! I am gonna die!", whispered Linda in Cora-Lee's direction. This caught his attention. Her heart raced as she'd watched him strip back to his jeans and shirt.

"Danno, she's not feeling well," said Cora-Lee.

A bit surprised at the familiarity of address with no prior introductions, Danno approached the girls. Linda didn't waste time in falling in his arms. He instantly reacted and caught her "fall".

"OMG! She's fainted," cried Cora-Lee.

Grace approached but Sam caught her arm, stopping her. Danno picked Linda up, placed her on the couch.

"She needs mouth-to-mouth CPR, QUICK!", cried Cora-Lee.

"No, she doesn't!"

"Grace!", admonished Sam.

Danno had knelt by the couch and Linda now wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him towards her while puckering up. He grabbed her arms firmly and gently undid her grasp.

"OK, very funny! You want to tell me what's going on in here?" He turned to Grace and Sam. "You guys making a youtube video, or something?" He turned back to Linda who turned 20 shades of red as Grace pointed and blurted out:

"She's in love with you and she wants you to kiss her!"

"...Ah!" Danno cracked an awkward smile.

"AND THEY THINK YOU'RE GAY!"

"WHAT-!?"

"Cora-Lee and Linda and Samantha all wrote a story where you and Uncle Steve do gay sex to each other...IN THE BED!"

Danno felt the wind knocked out of him, not so much at hearing this, but at the realization that his little girl's innocence had been compromised. He was struggling to compose himself and come up with an adequate response when Linda got up and dashed past him. He figured she was embarrassed and let her go. He sat there on the floor staring into space to avoid eye contact with Grace. Meanwhile, Linda had made her way into his bedroom... and quietly closed the door.


	9. Chapter 9

**Please make sure to go back and read the late addition to end of CH 8, posted befote this CH 9, in case you missed what Grace blurted out and Danno's reaction plus Linda's new antics... (I added on to the end of CH 8 on Sat July 18. The story didn't jump up the list to alert of update. Had the same thing happen with CH 10).**

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"I haven't called him, if that's what you're asking me, no." Grover pulled up a chair and sat next to McGarrett at the kitchen table. "You gotta read this!" He scrolled up on the laptop monitor and backed up a few chapters, but couldn't find it.

"OH!", he smacked McGarrett's chest with the back of his hand, "you and Danno are both _'succulent babes!'_ "

"Ha! What?!"

"One of Sam's favorite movies is the Bill & Ted Adventures. She has a thing for Keanu Reeves; he's Hawaiian, you know!" Clueless Steve smiled - for he hadn't seen the movies, but Max's Halloween costumes' obsession came to his mind - then looked back at the screen, anticipating more.

"Ah! There's my favorite part, check it out: _'He had been anxiously watching the two men, his anxiety making him very nervous and anxious.'_ "

"HAHA! Good one!", agreed Steve.

"Isn't that crazy!? Wait, wait: it gets worse! This one is about Danno, ready?" Grover put the back of his wrist against his own forehead, feigning dramatic grand mal, as he read out loud, à la Greta Garbo:

 _"God, the man was hungry and could scarf down food like a garbage man. But he was sexy too, in his own rough way of eating!"_

"HAHAHAHA!" Steve McGarrett couldn't contain his laughter as he both registered the silly wording and pictured Danno in the corny situation. He placed his forearm against Grover's shoulder then rested his forehead on top of it, as he now laughed uncontrollably in his friend's care, while gently smacking Lou's back with his other hand. Tears streamed down the corners of his eyes. He lifted his head to wipe them and, upon noticing, Grover's own laughter picked up even harder, which caused McGarett's laughter to redouble.

They slapped each other's thighs as Grover read passage after passage out loud, the gushing praise about Danno's masculine contours and Steve's handsome looks, the inappropriate grammar, the redundant adverb usage and other cheesy and fangirly nonsense which was nearly everywhere.

"I hate to do this to my baby girl but she's not here and this is just too good to pass up!"

After they'd had their fill of laughter, Grover moved on to the serious part.

"Ok, now! As you can well imagine, I didn't call you here for a laugh party."

McGarrett cast a sober look in his direction, not knowing what to expect.

"Remember that some of the gushing girly superlatives were describing Wo Fat?" Steve nodded. "Well, take a look at this, my friend!"

Grover did a search for "Wo Fat fan sites" and pulled one up after the other.

"' _MarryMeWoFat dot com, WoFatIsInnocent dot net, MurderMeWoFat dot com'_ , what in the hell..!?" McGarrett quickly surfed through the disturbing websites. "You're kidding me!"

Some had full webowner profiles with photos of women and what appeared to be their real names. There seemed to be an equal number of teens as there were middle aged women pining for Wo Fat's love all across the country.

"There's dozens of them, Steve! Maybe hundreds!"

McGarrett was in shock and disbelief, but his blood boiled when he came across a photo of himself with crosshairs across his face and a caption that read "DEATH TO MCGARRETT".

"So that's where she got it from!"

"What?"

Grover went to Samantha's room and returned with her box. He handed it to Steve. The SEAL's mood turned more severe as he browsed through a bunch of Wo Fat photo tributes and collages. Some were framed by hearts. Then, there it was, along with the _"I heart Wo Fat"_ captioned pictures: the _"death to McGarrett"_ one.

"This belongs to your daughter?"

Grover simply nodded. McGarrett's nostrils flared as the corner of his lips curled down. He slammed the pictures back into the box and tossed it on the table. Grover patted him on the shoulder. Steve pressed his knuckles against his lips and stayed silent for a while as he mulled it over.

"You think this is some sort of... of Post Traumatic... Stockholm Syndrome?", he ventured.


	10. Chapter 10

"Only me wrote the story", confessed Samantha.

"Ah, is that so!? And why... why am I gay? And why would you be writing stories about me and Uncle Steve?", Danno grimaced, "Am I missing something here? And why, why, why would you let my Gracie read that, huh? Can you tell me that?!"

"I stole the story from them!" Grace figured Samantha's admission warranted her own.

"You stole-" Danno's eyebrows raised themselves in quiet surprise.

Danno's wallet had been tossed in the middle of his bed and Linda had tucked his dollar bills in her jeans' front pocket, so that they conspicuously spilled out forwards, in a fan shape. She went back to dig in his nightstand drawer where she now found his gun. Closer to the bedroom, Gracie heard the drawer slam wide open.

"Danno, I think Linda is hiding in your room!"

"SONOFA-!"

The door flew open, the girls rushed behind him and he came face to face with Linda who had already taken his automatic weapon out of its holster.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!"

His raging and forceful command startled her senseless, and she dropped the gun on the bed. Its safety prevented a disaster.

"Book her Danno!", ordered Cora-Lee from the threshold.

"Yeah, book me, Danno!" They giggled in unison.

"You think this is funny, huh, you think this is funny!?" Exasperated, he grabbed the gun, checked the safety and put it back in its holster, then clipped it to his belt where she wouldn't be able to get her hands on it again.

"OUT, OUT! Everybody out!" But Linda wasn't getting it.

"I stole your money," she teased, making the dollar bills wave, "and now you gotta arrest me!"

"Book her, Danno! Book her, Danno!", chanted Cora-Lee.

"Alright, that's enough!"

Out of patience, Danny reached for his money but Linda yanked the bills out first and hid her hand behind her back. As he missed, he snapped his arm up in the air in utter frustration, then pressed his fist to his mouth, as if to contain his temper. Without warning, in a split-second decision, he went for it: he grabbed Linda by the shoulders, flipped her face down onto the bed and put his knee on the back of her legs while he held her wrists tight behind her. If she wanted to be overpowered by Danno, her wish had been granted. Only she wasn't laughing anymore. He grabbed his money, tossed it on the nightstand, then leaned down close to her ear.

"Whoa!" Cora-Lee's jaw dropped open.

"You want me to arrest you, huh? You want to spend the next 10 years in prison for grand larceny, burglary and assault on a police officer with a deadly weapon, huh!? Is that what you want!?"

"Nooo!"

"If you're really good, maybe you'll be paroled in 8. I can have HPD take you to jail in 5 minutes. Is that what you want, huh?!"

"No, let me go!"

"Please... Say please!"

"Please let me go, Danno!"

"It's Detective Sergeant Williams to you. Repeat."

"I'm sorry, let me go!"

"ARGH! WRONG! Time to go to jail!" He picked her off the bed, still restraining her. He glanced at the girls. Cora-Lee and Sam were both stunned speechless at this turn of events, their eyes big as saucers. Grace was grinning at her dad. He winked at her.

"I'm really, REALLY sorry Detective Dan- I mean, sir"."

"Detective Sergeant Williams", he corrected.

"Please, it was just a joke! I'm very, very, VERY sorry, Detective Seargent Williams. Please let me go. I promise, I won't do it again, I'll be good."

"Promise?"

"Yeah!"

"Ok, then!" He finally let her go and Sam and Cora-Lee exhaled. "Ok, now out! Everyone sit on the couch, and explain to me from the beginning why you're here, what you had to tell me and what's going on with all the stories nonsense!"

The girls marched back to his living room and did as were told with no further disruptions.


	11. Chapter 11

You might enjoy my completed story here, particularly **if Danno is your favorite, don't miss it** : (add this after dot net:) /s/11360965/1/Hot-Furious-McDanno-Slash

It's more PG-13 than M. It's actually straight slash, meaning... well, I guess you'll have to read it to find out. Let's just say that if you're anti-McDanno, that fic is perfect for you. Romance and Fantasy cover it. **Not a parody. No sex! Just lots of humor** and some nudity.

* * *

"Stockholm Syndrome? I never thought about that!" McGarrett had sent Grover's mind into a tailspin. "Well, let's see... that boy abducted her, put her in a cage..."

"But Wo Fat rescued her!", continued McGarett. "It follows there might have been some strong feelings of gratitude there and maybe admiration towards him. And if there was a budding Stockholm Syndrome, it might have been transmuted into some kind of a sick crush, what she thinks is love."

"You're talking about transference, now?"

"Exactly! And maybe the way her mind sees it, she owes her life to Wo Fat," concluded Steve. He grabbed his crosshairs portrait, shook it knowingly. "And maybe she feels there's some kind of debt here that needs to be repaid..."

"So what do we do about it? My baby is in love with a serial killer!" An even somberer idea crossed Grover's mind. "Hey, you don't think she hates you for hunting down Wo Fat, do you!?"

McGarrett's pensive expression told him that was exactly what he was thinking too.

"I think I might just have an idea..." A demure smile accompanied McGarrett's far away look as he grabbed his cellphone and dialed.

 **H50-H50-H50-H50-H50-H50-H50-H50-H50-H50-**

The sun was now hitting Danny's face through the flimsy curtain and Linda couldn't help but notice how delicious he looked when he squinted. He smiled at the girls and, when he made eye contact with her, it was all Linda could do not to jump to her feet and go lick his cheek as her heart pounced against her chest. But she behaved herself. He was now packing heat, after all, and she had promised. Cora-Lee observed her, remembering how well her friend had followed her wicked directives earlier; and Cora-Lee could not wait to get her hands on her own Steve McGarrett. No doubt, she would be more successful in seduction and would show Linda how it was done. A young woman of her caliber was sure to have her way with him. Who could resist her!? She was pretty, mature and precocious.

Meanwhile, Linda dared not upset her still squinting blond man with the enticing pale lips that she craved. Getting restrained by him had been far from the fun she'd thought it would have been. It had been quite upsetting, actually. But remembering the experience was much better in her mind and she smiled broadly relieving it. She could not take her eyes off his tight jeans, his gun... his zipper; if only she were three years older, for sure he would not resist her seducing him! Her gaze returned to his handsome face, and Linda fancied that Danny Williams' cheek for sure tasted like rum raisin ice-cream... it simply had to!

"Ok, girls, I hate to cut this short but we're going to take a little trip!" Danno's proposal was met with jovial _"yeahs"_ and cheerful clapping. He had just hung up with McGarrett after agreeing to meet him at HQ.

* * *

 **The descriptive Danno part was dedicated to Danno's #1 fan, jlopie, even though she's definitely not reading here.**


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